With ketamine use rising across the UK, many people don’t realise how quickly physical and mental health problems can appear with regular ketamine use. As part of our national Know Your K campaign, we've been speaking to people affected by ketamine.
When I look back, I can see I always had addictive tendencies always, but with drugs, there was always a bit of a fear to start them. But once the third assault happened, that barrier went - I'd lost the fear. I just thought ‘who cares if I die’.
Freja is a trans woman (pronouns she/her). Freja was born in Enfield, spent time some time in Herefordshire but now lives in Hackney.
She used to work in Oxfam as the manager of one of their charity shops. She explains that she had a ‘number of unfortunate traumas’ including three sexual assaults in the space of 18 months. The third one, in 2023, resulted in a court case which led her to quit her job and drop out of college where she was studying British Sign Language.
“That pushed me over the edge and I used drugs to deal with the trauma and PTSD,” she said.
“When I look back, I can see I always had addictive tendencies always, but with drugs, there was always a bit of a fear to start them. But once the third assault happened, that barrier went - I'd lost the fear. I just thought ‘who cares if I die’."
Freja, who didn’t have alcohol until 23, had never previously used drugs but these experiences led her to heavy drug use at the age of 25. Ketamine was the first drug she tried and says it was the one that ‘pulled me under’.
Freja was into the East London queer/techno raver scene which involved partying and clubbing. She says that within a couple of years, she went from being a manager at Oxfam to being addicted to and dealing ketamine.
She got into a relationship with a drug dealer which meant she had an easy supply of ketamine. However, she admits there were times when she went to ‘insane lengths’ to get hold of ketamine.
“I just went on a dating apps went on Grindr, and every man who messaged me, I said ‘if you can get me a number for ketamine, you can do anything you want me’,” she said.
“The level of addict behaviour was quite extreme.”
There were periods where Freja was using around 15 to 20 grams of ketamine a week.
Whilst she says she was on ketamine ‘all the time’ she also used MCAT (Mephedrone) - a synthetic stimulant drug that is often compared to cocaine and ecstasy.
The physical and mental impact of ketamine on Freja’s was quite immediate. She suffered damage to her bladder and the lining of her stomach.
"There were times I’d be on the street, laying on the floor screaming because of auditory hallucinations,” she said.
“I'd hear my name being shouted out in the background of music. I thought my radiator was talking to me. I got really paranoid thinking I could hear people's thoughts about me. It was always very critical stuff about me being trans and the drug use.
“It sounded real, even though I knew that it probably wasn't.”
Freja felt like ketamine had a ‘chokehold’ and that she couldn’t get out of the addiction.
She overdosed in January in an attempt to end her life.
She was hospitalised and told by doctors that there was significant damage to her body and that it could be permanent unless she stopped using ketamine. She was unable to keep down solid food due to the damage ketamine had caused to her stomach.
Freja sought help from narcotics anonymous and Turning Point in January 2025. She managed to stay abstinent of drugs for 70 days but then relapsed.
After being hospitalised five times in a month, she went back into rehab last summer and has been abstinent since which she says has been ‘really amazing’.
Though she still has a sensitive stomach and her bladder isn’t as strong as before she started using ketamine, there is no permanent damage to her body.
“I feel like ketamine is such a normalised drug - people don't know that it's really harmful. They see it as a fun drug, not one of the serious ones, like meth and crack but it literally ruined my life,” she said.
Freja is currently on the Turning Point peer mentoring course and would like to work in addiction counselling in the future.
Background
- Freja is a published writer of two novels Never Trust a Gemini and Blame My Virgo Moon.
- Netflix have bought the rights to both the books and have been paying Freja a retainer fee which is what she has been living off.