Leanne: My Journey to Recovery 

I was only about 14 when I was introduced to Class A drugs, starting with cocaine alongside older people. Despite this, I excelled in school - I was Head Girl, achieved all my GCSEs, and went to college. But I was also using. It started on weekends, and once I moved out of home, it escalated.  

I rationalised it: "I have a job, I'm in college, I pay my own way. It's my money." 

The progression continued with other party drugs until it led to crack cocaine. That was my downfall. It felt like it stole my soul. 

I always told myself I would stop when I became a mother.  

At 23, I had my first child, and I stopped during the pregnancy. But soon after he was born, I started again. Small amounts at first, then increasingly more, inevitably leading me back to crack. 

"If he isn't with me, it's okay” was how I justified it. I was under the influence, yet I thought it was acceptable. 

On the surface, my life looked fine - my house was always spotless and I was presentable. Looking back though, I wonder how I managed it; I never stopped, I never slept. The cracks were definitely showing, but no one approached me about it. Everyone knew I was using, but I would simply lie. 

Five years later, I had my second child and just two years later, Social Services became involved again. I had been good at lying before, claiming I'd had "a couple of glasses of wine" even though I didn't drink. This was when I had my first contact with SDAS (Somerset Drug and Alcohol Service). I agreed to attend, but I lied about the extent of my problem, saying I was only drinking. Because of this misdirected support I ended up walking out and eventually lost custody of my children. 

Hitting Rock Bottom 

Lockdown was a dark time. I was alone, and everything was collapsing. Over Christmas, an argument led to me storming out of the family home and being involved – through no fault of my own – in an accident which caused significant injuries and led to me being hospitalised for a long time. I had to learn to walk again, and in the chaos of COVID, I started to drink heavily. Before long, I was using again. 

I thought: "Why can't I stop? I must be broken." I would cry while using, unable to understand why I couldn't quit, even when my children begged me to. I truly believed I was hopeless and going to die. 

The Turning Point 

Everything changed when I reconnected with my youngest son's father, who was in recovery. He invited me to a meeting. 

In February 2023 I attended the meeting. I went home, poured my wine down the sink, and told myself, "There is a way out of this." 

I achieved nine months of abstinence, but then I became pregnant again and, sadly, once again relapsed shortly after giving birth. Social Services returned, giving me the same ultimatum: engage with SDAS or lose my newborn daughter. 

I remember driving past the SDAS building and judging the people going in, thinking: "I'm not one of them." I had forgotten where I came from. I shouldn't have been so judgmental - I knew most of them. I was always the life and soul, but I was dying inside. 

Finding My Anchor in Recovery 

My lifeline was my Recovery Worker from the Family Safeguarding Team. She came to see me at home and was an inspiration. 

She sat with me and helped me see that I could succeed. I could call her anytime, and I truly believe I wouldn't have stayed clean without her support through the dark times. 

Now, I don't judge anyone. Addiction is just addiction. It doesn't matter what you take or how you take it. 

My Recovery Worker was my sanity. She spoke to me like a human being, and I looked forward to her visits. I asked her to stay with me until the end and support me through the court process.   

It was then she asked if I had thought about me becoming a Peer Mentor and using my experience to support other people.  

Life Transformed 

SDAS has been instrumental in my journey. I can be myself; I don’t have to wear a mask. 

Looking back, without their help, history would have repeated itself, and I'm not sure I would be alive today. 

My life has changed completely. 

I began working as a Peer Mentor and have gained qualifications, becoming a Service User Representative. Best of all I am now starting as a Recovery Worker with SDAS in early 2026! 

I’ve always wanted to bring hope to others because of my lived experience. I want to show people that recovery is possible and help them achieve their goals, whether it’s total abstinence or safer, controlled using. 

This new role will strengthen my own sobriety and recovery journey. I will finally be the person I wished I had to look up to and listen to when I was at my lowest.