Chemsex is the act of engaging in sexual activities under the influence of drugs. For many, it may be a one off, for others, it’s a more regular activity, and for some, chemsex becomes a way of life. For anyone who engages in chemsex, there are significant risks, which you can read about in our blog offering risk reduction advice. So why do people get involved?
The answer to that question isn’t simple, because people are complex. There are complex personal and social factors influencing the decision to participate in chemsex - everyone is different and has their own unique experience of life that influences decision making. So, while we’re going to run through some of the influences in this blog, it’s good to note that these won’t apply to everyone, while some people may be able to relate to one or more of them.
Why does the underground chemsex scene exist?
Anthony, who spent 20 years on the chemsex scene and is now a keyworker with LGBTQ+ addiction service, Antidote, has provided some of the reasons that he is aware of. You can read more about his personal experience here.
Trying to fit in
Social circles play a huge role in how we live our lives. Chemsex, though not unique to the LGBTQ+ community, is particularly widespread here, and has expanded in London over decades. For some who are exposed to chemsex within the community, a desire to fit in can be a strong influence. For others, constant exposure can prove tempting or it might seem like an inevitability that they will get involved too, so there is sometimes a feeling of ‘why not?’.
Stigma and isolation
Closely connected to these peer dynamics is a feeling or fear of isolation felt by some, who might seek connection by taking part in the activities of those around them, regardless of the impact they may have on them personally. This can stem from historical feelings of loneliness and can be a method of depression or anxiety avoidance.
Sex addiction escalation
Chemsex can feed multiple addictions – drug, alcohol and sex – all of which can arise as a result of past traumas or unsuccessfully managed mental health disorders. Sex addiction is particularly linked to past trauma, and can begin with exposure to porn. As with all addictions, escalation is possible, with desensitisation to stimulus occurring. For some, chemsex offers a route to feed a growing need for more extreme sexual experiences.
Internalised homophobia
Many people still struggle with accepting their sexuality for one reason or another. This can lead to inhibitions in expressing themselves, particularly when it comes to sex. They may feel that they are only able to express their true sexuality under the influence of drugs, and so engaging in chemsex gives them this freedom temporarily.
‘You can get it faster than a pizza’
For some, the appeal of chemsex is less about the sex and more about the availability of drugs, including GHB, mephedrone and crystal meth. Gaining drugs through dating apps has become relatively commonplace, and as Anthony advises ‘you can get it faster than a pizza’. This gives incentive to those who are drug addicted to engage in sexual activities for the exchange of drugs. Our guide to chemsex app shorthands here provides helpful advice for what to look out for to ensure you’re aware of what is being offered.
It seems like everyone is having fun
From the outside, and particularly in the early stages of chemsex, it can seem like everyone is having fun. It might seem like there’s no harm. However, chemsex comes with many risks, from sexual health to criminal implications, and it isn’t something to enter into lightly. Some people are pulled deeper into the chemsex scene before they have a chance to realise the potential harms, and might feel like it’s hard to get out, due to friendships, dependency or the fear of negative implications.
Escape from reality
Drugs and sex are both well known to release the body’s natural ‘happy’ chemical, dopamine, helping to alleviate pain and to provide powerful distractions. Some people can seek these effects due to trauma, depression, anxiety or other mental health conditions. This ‘escape from reality’, while fleeting, can be welcome, or even feel essential, to someone who is suffering mentally or physically.
Enhanced sexual pleasure
For some, engaging in chemsex, especially initially, is a way to enhance sexual pleasure. It may help to release inhibitions or improve sensation. Over time, this enhanced pleasure may feel unmatched without the addition of drugs, increasing the chances of addiction in the long term.
Pressure to perform
In a similar way, the addition of drugs to sex can be seen as a way to alleviate pressure to perform, which can feel debilitating for some people. They might feel they lack the confidence or ability to please their partner/s without drugs, leading to their use in every sexual encounter.
Feed addiction
Someone can start on the chemsex scene without any addiction, or they can enter into it because of addiction. Whether this addiction is sex addiction or drug addiction, the chemsex scene feeds both in a scenario that may seem to be more socially acceptable, as it is experienced as part of a social culture. This apparent justification can allow activities to continue for longer, or to progress faster, and over time, for some, these addictions get deeper and deeper, making it harder to escape the negative consequences.
Support around chemsex
Many who engage in chemsex find they aren’t enjoying the experiences anymore, or that they are suffering negative consequences that they want to be free from. For those looking to exit the chemsex scene, or reduce their involvement, a combination of peer support, mental health support and educational resources can be helpful.
If you know someone who is struggling in the chemsex scene, you might feel that you want to help. While you are not responsible for their wellbeing, here is some advice that can help you to help them, if you are both willing:
Show concern, not judgement
Instead of judgment, expressing concern for the health and safety of those participating in chemsex is more constructive and will help them to understand that you are on side and willing to help.
Provide practical support
If you lack the lived experience to understand their experience fully, you might find it easier and more useful to provide practical support, such as driving them to peer support meetings, taking them for sexual health checks, or engaging in sober activities to distract them.
Seek resources
Don’t assume that they know the resources available. Education is a fundamental part in understanding the problem that they are encountering, and, where appropriate, it could be useful to provide links or addresses for services that are experienced and knowledgeable in this area.
Turning Point and London Friend provide a safe space and education to help people reduce the risks and come to terms with their experience of chemsex. ‘Antidote’ provides peer support, sober social activities, relapse prevention support, counselling and group work around chemsex in the LGBTQ+ community. Find out more about Antidote here.