At the age of 13, he tried weed for the first time, unknowingly setting off a series of events that led him down a path of drugs. As he experimented with substances like MDMA and cocaine, Josh found solace and formed friendships with others who shared his affinity. Initially, drugs provided a sense of belonging and an escape from his low self-esteem and mental health issues.
Josh's occasional drug use gradually turned into a daily necessity. He became mentally addicted, relying on drugs to cope with life's challenges. Despite calling himself a "functioning addict," he engaged in destructive behaviours such as stealing drugs, isolating himself, quitting his job, and withdrawing from social activities.
Over time, Josh's substance use worsened, and he found himself engaging in more dangerous behaviour. At the age of 20, his mental health deteriorated, leading to a suicide attempt and subsequent admission to a mental health hospital.
"Feeling low, I found a dealer outside the hospital and spent the rest of my time there snorting cocaine."
Seeking a fresh start, Josh moved to Brighton but ended up becoming further entangled in the drug scene. He developed a regular habit of using crack cocaine, which strained his relationships with family and deepened his depression. Despite being aware of the dangers, Josh repeatedly overdosed, narrowly escaping death each time.
One day, with two acquaintances being stabbed, Josh realised the threat to his own life outweighed his obsession with lost drugs.
"To save their lives, I had to throw away my prepared needle and assist them until the ambulance arrived. Yet, all I could think about was my lost drugs and how annoyed I was with the situation. It was in that moment that I realised I could be the one getting stabbed next if I continued down this path."
Years later, Josh experienced his final overdose. Upon regaining consciousness in the intensive care unit, he was determined to change. Josh's mother agreed to take him back home on the condition that he sought help from Turning Point, and Josh began his recovery journey.
Despite initial hesitation, Josh entered a rehab facility where he embraced the 12-step recovery program and Narcotics Anonymous. Regular NA meetings played a crucial role in his progress. While facing setbacks in the months after leaving rehab, Josh gradually recognised that a drug-free life was his ultimate goal.
"I gradually realised that one drug was too many, and no amount was ever enough. I no longer wanted to live that way. I made the decision to quit drugs and acknowledged that recovery was possible, but it was up to me to make it happen. Nobody could force me, though the consequences were no longer worth it."
Today, Josh celebrates six months of sobriety and his ongoing journey. The grip of his substance use has loosened, and he no longer feels the overwhelming compulsion to use drugs. With newfound determination, he has set personal goals, including becoming a peer mentor with Turning Point and pursuing his English and Maths GCSEs, proving his belief in his own capabilities.
Acknowledging the pain he caused himself and those around him, Josh also highlights the transformative power of his journey. He now seeks to help others facing similar struggles and wants to share his story as hope that recovery is possible, even in the face of seemingly insurmountable odds.
"I wouldn't be the person I am today without the journey I've been through. I am actively working on my recovery and finding contentment in life. People now smile at me instead of crossing the road to avoid me. I want others to know that there is a way out of addiction, even when it seems impossible."
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