Bottling it up: your stories

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"My mum has been an alcoholic for as long as I can remember. She was a single mother of three, me being the eldest had no option but to look after my siblings. I was holding down a part time job at 13, trying to make ends meet, looking after two toddlers and trying to get to school. My day was an endless chore. My mum had lots of One Night Stands, parties, loud music. It was impossible for me to bring friends home, and strangers stopped me in the street to laugh because my mum had made a fool of herself yet again walkin home from the local boozer. Due to mum's continual drinking, drug abuse, I have had to suffer a great deal. I'm now serving in the Forces, have a little girl and a nice partner. I personally have never abused alcohol because I want a better life for me and my little girl. Needless to say I don't speak to my mum very much now and not bothered about it. I am paying for what she done to me, it still hurts. I hope one day she will realise the extent of her damage. I'm glad that there are people out there who want to make a difference, good luck in your campaign."
Anonymous (posted 2 March 2007)

"I am a grown woman of 30 years old and I think that I will never get over the abuse my father inflicted on me and my brother when we was children. When my mother said she would divorce my dad, he tried to dry out at a clinic, even in there he would sneak vodka into his room in lemonade bottles. There was a time when my mum could not stand the physical and mental abuse no longer, so she sought refuge in a women's hostel. I will never forget the trauma he put us through. I know that alcholism is a disease, but it is a living nightmare for a child."
Anonymous (posted 26 February 2007)

"My mother was an alcoholic. She did some cruel things to me as a baby and I had to be taken away from here at 4 years old.
"Later on in my teens I started to abuse drink myself. Then in adult life I became an alcoholic at 29. I could not stop drinking. In the end I got some help and sorted myself out. My mother does not drink now and has diagnosis as Bi polar and takes medication.
"We are both proof that drink can mess you up but we also have turned that all around."
Anonymous (posted 18 January 2007)

"I am now 40 years old and my mother, who is an alcoholic, thankfully has not had a drink for 18 years. However, my entire childhood was chaotic because of her drinking. I was never able to bring friends home from school as I never knew whether she would be drunk or not.
"She was violent when she drank as well, regularly smashing the house up. She also attempted suicide many times... I remember her slashing her wrists while I stood next to her when I was 7 years old. Whenever she made these attempts, all that would happen would be the local casualty patching her up and sending her home to her 4 children... even though it must have been blatantly obvious that this woman had some serious problems. Nobody ever seemed to care what was happening to us at home. The extended family ignored it and pretended it wasn't happening and as a child there was nowhere for me to go...
"I am not undamaged by these experiences. I suffer from bipolar affective disorder and am a recovering alcoholic myself (sober now for 6 years). But on the positive side I have been very successful: I have a degree, an MSc in Public Health and am currently working on a PhD - as well as having a full time career in the NHS and a wonderful daughter.
"My mother is still alive and we have an OK relationship. As well as you would expect really. I am still angry though, but have to accept that what happened, happened and all I can do is learn from it...
"My heart goes out to children and young people who live with parents who abuse alcohol."
Anonymous (posted 14 December 2006)

"I'm 17 years old and my Dad has been abusing alcohol for quite a while now. I think that your campaign will do huge amounts for young people like me, in providing support! There have been
been so many occasions over the years that I wish I had had somewhere to go or someone to talk to about the problems at home.
"Dad's drinking has gradually gotten worse, and has had an absolutely huge effect on my family. I suffer from chronic anxiety, stress and depression, and now have panic attacks on a daily basis.I have been told this is partly as a result of my Dad's behaviour and drinking. Its sad that because of his problem, the last six or seven years of my life and my brothers life have been ruined. And now, I have to spend however long with an acute anxiety disorder, and the next few years trying to gain the confidence that my Dad took away from me. If there are people and services who other young people in my position can go to to feel safe, and to talk to someone who understands, then I believe that those young people wont have to suffer just because their parents are alcoholics.
"Its fair to say that a problem like alcoholism can tear a family apart. Its about time someone did something to help those children living with an alcoholic.
"Thank you for finally bringing this problem publicity and taking it seriously."
Jemma, Hampshire (posted 12 December 2006)

"My father has had a drinking problem for as long as I can remember and alcohol comes above and before everything and everyone else including food, rent, bills, children, family or anything else. My father lived with us until I was about 7 then my parents were divorced, for most of the time he lived with us he spent most of it in the pub, so much so that my brother and I say that we never had a father when we were growing up.
"He never abused us physically but I suppose we have endured emotional and mental abuse because of his drinking.
"Before my parents were divorced my mother was working nights. She left my father in charge of us - I was 6 and my brother 5. He got drunk and passed out in the armchair. That was around 6.00pm; my mother came home at 12.30am to find us both still up and dressed without having had any supper.
"He has been caught drink driving four or five times in his life and after they were divorced, would turn up at our house to collect us in his car stinking of booze. My mother would never let us get into the car when he was drunk and insisted on going out to the car when he arrived to see if she could smell drink. My father was quite happy to endanger us like that.
"The saddest thing of all is that drink does split families, any children of mine will never have a kind and loving Grandfather as I did as I won't let my father anywhere near them.
"I think that if he had been offered professional help those times he was caught drink driving like counselling or detox I think it may have made some kind of difference and we may have had an opportunity to get to know the real person rather than the drunk we have come to know.
"The government really need to do something about this, not doling out asbo's or fines...they need to educate people and provide children with access to places and services where they can get away from the troubles at home."
Anonymous, 26, South Wales (posted 22 November 2006)

Need help and support? Search for Turning Point alcohol services in your area and read our Bottling it up alcohol factsheet for further help and advice.